Danna Unabridged

Toilets. They’re such a necessary thing.

And yet, I find that government in New Zealand struggles with them constantly. I’m not entirely sure why.

We all know what happens. We walk in, we do our thing, we walk out. The biggest issue, hopefully, is: is there toilet paper?

But apparently, in New Zealand, it has become so much more complicated than that.

Are there enough toilets? Are there pipelines? Where does it all go?

Hopefully not into the Shotover River.
Or Wellington waterfront.

But, you know what? I digress.

Let’s start with toilets.

I’m going to let that beginning sit with you for a minute.
Pardon the pun.

I travel a lot up and down the South Island. At the moment, mostly between Southland and Otago, and I can tell you which toilets to visit and which ones to absolutely avoid.

Some of them are absolutely gorgeous. There are toilets I genuinely look forward to.

Lumsden, for example.

Lumsden has an amazing toilet facility. Honestly, it looks like somebody runs in and cleans the place every time another person runs out. It is always so clean and pristine.

I do question the sign telling people not to stand on the toilet.

I’m not entirely sure.
I think…
Actually, I don’t know.

I’m just going to leave that one alone.

What I do love about Lumsden, though, is that if you have the opportunity to drive through this beautiful part of Southland, make sure you actually stop.

Visit Route 66. They have an amazing cheese roll, a really good beetroot and feta salad, and always, always great company.

I will say that I drove past the place for years thinking it was closed until I finally stopped and went inside.

Lumsden is one of those places you can drive straight through.
I absolutely recommend that you don’t.

But back to toilets.

Toilets, toilets everywhere.

Garston.

They also have really nice toilets. They’re not quite on the same level as Lumsden, but you know what? They’re not bad.

They’re clean. They’re accessible. They’re well lit.

They’re a little bit cold, probably because they’re just way too big, but Garston also has the amazing Coffee Bomb, where you can get a great coffee, muffins and something to eat, and there are some lovely little shops to look at while you’re there.

And then we keep going.
And going.
And going.

Athol has toilets.

One.
Hold it if you can.

Kingston, on the other hand, actually has an amazing long drop.

And the thing I love about the Kingston long drop is that it has two sizes of toilet.

Medium and large.

So if you have a little child you don’t particularly want to drop into the long drop — and yes, it really is a long drop — somebody has actually made provision for that.

If you’re going to stop anywhere in between, though, my recommendation is this:

Toilet paper.

Always, always, always, when you’re travelling, have toilet paper and water.

And know what to do with either of them.